Chauncey was my Favorite Piston

I was sad to see him go, but I was excited for the prospect of Iverson. It turns out it was a horrible, horrible move for the '09 season. You took a team that was at least good enough to make it to the Eastern Conference Finals again. And once you're there, who knows? The would've been an underdog against Cleveland or Boston but crazier things have happened. I say, if you're good enough to get there you at least have a shot.

Instead, we got A.I. who was anything but a class act. What a joke.

Michigan Sunday Liquor Laws Suck

The past two Sundays I've been at the grocery store prior to noon and had alcohol in my cart and realized it was prior to noon so I was going to be denied (in case you didn't know, you can't buy alcohol in the state of Michigan from 2am to 12noon on Sundays. I guess it makes sense to keep the drunks from getting drunker, but what about all the other days of the week?

So on Tuesday early 2am no more alochol sales are allowed. I'm ok with this. But then I'm assuming they go back on sale when the store opens back up the next day. Some stores 8am, some 9am, etc. This seems to work fine 6 days a week. It makes sense because 6 or more hours is probably enough time to let the drunks sober up. But now take Meijer for example, open 24 hours a day. At 2 am Tuesday they stop selling. But what time does it go back on sale? 5am 6am? 8am? I don't know the answer to this question, but I do know it is not Noon.

I completely understand shutting down the bars at 2am agree with it, because if you're out that late usually trouble is on its way. But what about the poor guy who was looking for a case of Labatt on the way home from church for the afternoon BBQ? I mean, now he stops at the store. Then he waits in line and the clerk rejects him reminding him of the law. Meanwhile the baby in the backseat is crying and his wife is hella pissed at him b/c the baby is crying. So he comes back out from the store drives home with no beer. Now it is after noon, and he must drive back out to the store to buy the beer. This easily wastes a half hour of drive time, plus the frustration factor is huge.

My anger with this law goes back a long way. Circa 2001, I was headed out to Jenny's house on the lake in Hamburg and planned on stopping at the party store on my way out there. At 11:45 I stopped for a case of Blue Light and was denied. My dilemma was that it is a 15 minute drive from the party store to her house. Do I drive to the house and then drive back out to the store? Waste of time. So I decided to wait it out. I browsed the chip aisle and did whatever I could to kill a few mins. Of course I put the beer back in the fridge to keep it cool. So at noon straight up I tried to buy it again. The girl said, I only have 11:55. But my watch said noon, the clock on the wall said noon, her phone said noon, but the cash register said 11:55. WTF! I was very mad.

I told her, we all know it is noon, it is a stupid law anyway, please just sell me the beer. She said no.

So I said, look, I will give you cash and you can keep the change and just wait 5 mins THEN ring it up and we're all good. She said No.

So I said, look, the cash register doesn't know what you're ringing up. You just punch in the price and I give you the money. It not like it knows I am breaking the law by trying to buy beer before noon on Sunday!

So I said, look, why don't you fix the damn clock on register real quick to reflect the actual time, and then sell me the beer? She said, I don't know how.

So like a wimp, I paced back and forth victim of a stupid law, and victim of a goon clerk not able to set the clock of a cash register.

I'm Not Allowed to use the Towels in my Bathroom

Recently I was told not to use the towels in our master bathroom which are next to my sink. "Where am I supposed to dry my hands?" I asked.

I have an old gray towel which I use to dry off after my daily shower. Apparently the gray towel is not pretty enough to be in sight so after my shower I am instructed to hang it on the back of my closet door so it is hidden. If I need to subsequently dry my hands or whatever, I am to use the gray towell behind the door.

I told wifey I would use the new pretty towels if I wanted to, and she said if I ruin them then she will replace them which will cost me more money. The last thing I want to do is spend more money on towels....but how in the world could "using" the towels ruin them? Not sure...

I would love to show pictures of how the bathroom is set up and the new towels, etc, but I am too lazy to take the pics and transfer them to this computer. Sorry.

I was a silent movie star

Circa 1999, I was cast as the Flesh Merchant, in the short silent film "Always Pay the Flesh Merchant." It was a briliant film written and directed by Dikran Ornekian, who is now making an imprint in LA. Obviously the Flesh Merchant was the villan. The hero was played by Mike Daniel who was nominated for an Oscar (I think?).

I haven't seen the film in years and have been bugging Dikran for months to send me a copy but to no avail; he obviously is afraid of what I will do with the copy once I get it (post to youtube?) or he has so much stuff cookin' in LA he has no time for the talent of one of his old silent films.

My favorite part of the making of "flesh" was my wife was casted as one of my whores. In her scene I busted into the room and yelled at her and slapped her, but in every single take she couldn't help but laugh. She was a horrible actress and would never make it in the silent film world (or hooking on the street). Dikran had no choice but to replace her with another whore.

After seeing Mr Ornekian work his magic in "Flesh" and other fine films such as "American Gangster," I had high hopes for his movie career- he moved to LA right after a brief stint at my company; you can check out his career here at IMDB.

We are having another Baby!

Wifey is due in late Oct. We are hoping for a girl so we can have one of each and be done. She says if we have another boy we will keep trying for a girl. I do not share that perspective. I say two and done no matter what. I mean, kids are expensive! College is expensive!

I am a well-regarded expert on Greenhouse Gases.

Last week I received a phone call from a producer at a radio station in New Hampshire who was doing a special on greenhouse gases. He said he needed to interview an expert on the air. Why would he be calling me?

Start Here.

As you can see, it is obvious why the producer called me; I am considered an expert in the field. Frankly, Jordan Cohen didn't even contribute a lick - it was all me.

A little history - this article was written by me in February 1998 in my Freshman Seminar class at umich - "How to Build a Habitable Planet" It was a Geoscience class and it was a joke. I had only 2 easy courses in my four years at umich - this one, and Psychology 110 "Learning to Learn." What a joke. I took Learning to Learn with your favorite umich bball player Jamal Crawford.

The best thing about the "habitable" article is that earlier in the same semester I had a class where I was required to write a similar paper on a very similar topic, so basically I wrote two versions of the same paper. When my goon partner Jordan Cohen found out he was happy as a lark. When he was assigned as my partner, I was like "dude, today is your lucky day."

I have only heard from Jordan Cohn once since the class ended. It was circa 2002-2003 - he emailed me and said, "dude, when I google my name our article comes up!!!" I was like, "oh, you mean, MY article?" Our professor required us to "turn in" our article by posting it to the class website. There is another sweet article there written by David Shannon on fossil fuels. I highly recommend it...

I simply told the producer from the radio station I don't know jack about greenhouse gases anymore and that article was written 11 years ago.

Over the past 11 years I've been contacted a few times before regarding this article, but mostly over email and not in a LONG time. So this call stirred up a bunch of fond memories....maybe now I will go watch Al Gore's documentary and brush up on the facts...

Camera Problems

Hunter was born in Sept 2007 and for my birthday in June '07 wifey got me a camera that she picked out. Of course I have no need for a camera - it's just not my style. My camera phone would probably be good enough for me. But I am a good sport, and I realized we needed a nice camera since we had the boy on the way.

For the past 2 years all I have heard since day one is bitching and moaning about how she hates the camera that SHE picked out. Now when it takes a blurry picture or whatever I get daily threats about how she is going to go spend to get a new camera. Personally I don't really have a problem with the current one; I think it does a fine job.

The thing that makes me the most mad is that she picked it out and didn't like it from the beginning and did nothing about it. She should've picked out a better camera to start with or took it back. Instead now I hear daily we need a new one and instead of an exchange it will be a new expensive purchase.....

Laz-y- Boy Update

In case you're wondering, we got the Lazy Boy check.

Riots are Likely

If Michigan State Final Four history tells us anything, it is that we can expect Riots after the game(win or lose).

Saturday night there will be a million people in the D. Most will be Spartan fans. I expect the city of Detroit to be bringing in the riot teams from East Lansing to handle these hoodlums. Their favorite weapon of teargas will definitely make the trip on I-96E. If tear gas were a commodity traded on the exchange, I would be buying levered calls and raking in the profits over the next couple days.

I was actually on the scene for the 1999 riots after the Duke loss at Cedar Village. It really was crazy, you know, the burning cars and all.

I have one take-away for you - tear gas hurts bad. It makes your eyes burn uncontrolably, it hurts to breath, and your skin feels like it is burning.