Fun with Three Billy Goats Gruff

The other night I was reading my four year old a bed time story - Three Billy Goats Gruff. It's one of his favorites - we probably read it once a week. Sometimes I am Big Billy Goat Gruff, Hunter is Middle Billy Goat Gruff, and Jacks is Little Billy Goat Gruff. To date, I have no idea why the goats are called "Gruff."

The purpose here is to point out a huge plot flaw in the story. It's not as glaring as the Little Red Riding Hood issue, but significant nonetheless. The point of the story is that the three goats need to get across the bridge to get to the rich grass to graze. But under the bridge is a Troll who eats people who cross the bridge.

The goats are afraid to cross the bridge because of the troll. So Big Billy Goat Gruff comes up with a plan. Little billy goat gruff stars across the bridge and when the troll comes up to eat him he says, "oh you don't want to eat me, I am little. Next my big brother middle billy goat gruff is coming and he will be a better meal for you." So the troll lets LBGG cross safely.

Next Middle BGG crosses and uses the same tactics as LBGG. So the troll agrees to allow MBGG cross in order to wait for BBGG.

So here comes BBGG. The troll comes up to stop him and BBGG easily uses his horns to throw the troll into the river, who is never to be seen again. The End.

So let me get this straight (keep in mind BBGG can easily throw the troll into the river): The three goats are afraid to cross the bridge because of the troll. So BBGG's idea is to allow the weakest goats to cross first armed only with the argument that a fatter goat is on his way. What if the troll was starving? What if the troll didn't buy this pitch? LBGG would surely be fucked.

At this point, I am not sure if MBGG would be eaten or if he is strong enough to kill the troll. But obviously their best chance was to send BBGG to fight the troll in the first place. Why risk the lives of LBGG and MBGG in the first place? What is going through the mind of BBGG? He needs to step up and go across the bridge first and protect his younger brothers. While he is the hero of the story, in my eyes he is weak and stupid.

And why are we reading our children bedtime stories featuring a big bad wolf and a deadly troll? WTF?