Before I begin, it is important for you to understand these events are all real. Nothing is made up or exaggerated in any way.
We are finishing the basement and installing a theatre room with a projector, which requires a new cable box. At this point, the theatre is fully operational although some carpentry work is still required. Planning ahead as usual, I started investigating how to order a new uverse cable box for the room pretty early.
First I went online to see if I could order there. I logged in and saw that there was no upgrade fee for a new box and it would be a monthly $7. I added the received to my plan and went to checkout. But in the checkout, it said there was a one-time $49 upgrade for the box. Bullshit. I am not paying the $49 when on the previous screen it said free, no upgrade fee. I knew at this point I was going to have to call these effers if I wanted a free upgrade, and I was busy and didn't have the energy to fight their phone system, so I put the project on hold.
A couple days later I tried again from a different computer and got the same results. With time running out before the theatre install, I cleared some time to call them and order over the phone. I talked to a lady who seemed to know what she was doing and placed the order. I could choose from a wireless or wired box - both free upgrade and both $7/mo. She said something about how I could buy insurance in case I needed help with the install - NO. That was it. Done. this was two weeks ago.
Two days ago, Saturday, I received a text message from Uverse saying my "install" was scheduled for Tuesday and please reply to confirm or call 1-800 just shoot me to make a change. You can imagine my initial reaction when receiving this text, as I had forgotten that they never sent me the box ( I moved the box from another room into the basement). I immediately called the 1-800 number and navigated all the way to scheduling where I found out that office was closed on saturday. Hey, ATT, nice job sending out a text on a day where you know nobody can call back. So I decided to text them back and said, "I never scheduled an appt. I just ordered a new box. Please mail it to me. Please call me at 999999999. " One minute later I received a text from them saying "invalid response."
I was pissed, because I knew now I was headed right into the abyss - trying to call ATT and find an existing order, cancel it, and start a new one. How long was this going to take?
I had to drive to Toledo, so I figured an hour would be enough time to get the call done. Plus I had my bluetooth ear piece, so that helps. After 4 minutes I was routing to the correct person. After 13 minutes she finally found the order and put me on hold to go get a manager to cancel the order. After 28 minutes she said the order was finally canceled and now I need to put in a new order. It turns out if you order a wired box, there is MANDATORY home install guy in your house = half day off work. If you order a wireless box, they can ship it right to you. WTF. I would love to meet the guy who made it a rule that if you need a new cable box you MUST have a guy in your house. How much does it cost ATT to send one of their assholes to your house? How irritating it is to try and schedule one of those appointments? How pissed are you when they don't show up? Do they seriously think I am retarded and can't plug in the box into the wall for power and then from the box to the TV? Well, maybe not, because they have enough faith that I can hook up the wireless box to my WIFI. Honestly, I really just don't know man. Then, why the EFF did the first lady not tell me an appointment was required? She didn't even ask me if that day worked for me! Even the girl who was obviously retarded and was helping me for the past 31 minutes thought the rule was dumb and said so on the recorded line (I thought these goons were paid to tow the company line at all costs?)
Because I didn't want to have an install, I changed the order to wireless and figured I can figure it out on my own. She said I will have the new box in two days.
The call ended at 1pm.
Today at 4:03 pm I received an email from Uverse. The subject "your install just one day away."
Dude.
Today at 7pm, I received an automated call from Uverse to confirm my appointment for tomorrow.
Screw it. If they guy comes, he comes. Nobody will be here.
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